IV

from Matt Aspinwall / The Brave Little Abacus by Matt Aspinwall

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lyrics

If the son of god loves me, why am I so unhappy, why did I lose everything, why am I such a mess?
I can't blame this on my father or look for help from my mother, or stare into the clouds, or pretend that I'm not bothered.
Oh but I am, I am. It keeps me up at night. I've lost my appetite, I drink to fill my gut and forget.
I am not afraid. I am terrified. I need to get away. I need to feel alive.
And even in the morning's light I still want to die, or drink 'till I am dead inside. And it's so hard to find hope when you're all alone. All I need is a boat.
And if I could chop your body and fight Poseidon's sea I might find happiness and I might be set free.
And I'd still come back and visit every other spring. You should want me to be happy and I'd be happier traveling.
And even in the morning's light I still want to die, or drink 'till I am dead inside. And it's so hard to find hope when you're all alone. All I need is a boat.

credits

from Matt Aspinwall / The Brave Little Abacus, released August 1, 2008

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about

Matt Aspinwall

with the infusion of friends’ idears, influence, and overall assistance, it wouldn’t be fair to keep putting it all under the porch of “matt aspinwall”. so “black lake” it is.

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