1. |
I
03:18
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As I'm climbing up your limbs we are laughing, we are smiling and I'm eating your apples. You are happy because I'm happy.
I'm tying the leaves that fall around my head into a crown.
You are happy because I'm happy.
And now I'm swinging from your branches, I sing joyously aloud "now I'm the king of the forest".
When I feel tired from climbing you I sleep in your shade. I love you very much. You are happy, you are kind.
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2. |
II
03:15
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Where were you when I needed you?
You’ve got plenty of apples, could I pick a few to sell in the city? Remember how much I love you.
If you don’t give me all your fruit, I will stop climbing you and you’ll be all alone. And I’ll find somebody better than you. Remember how I love you.
But neither of us want that. I just want a car so I can visit friends, so I can travel far like a ghetto superstar.
Where were you when I need you?
If you don't give me all your fruit, I will stop climbing you and you'll be all alone.
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3. |
III
05:32
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I know I've been gone for so long but I'm sure that you'll forgive me. I'd love to climb you, but, I'm way too busy.
And I know that you've got no apples left, this time I need something else.
I need a wife, I need some kids. I need a house to protect them. I need a dog, a picket fence. I need a roof over our heads.
I need a van for soccer games, and groceries from supermarkets. I need a wife, I need some kids. I need you to supply all of this.
I didn't feel a thing when I cut off all your limbs. I built a house and married an incredible woman, but had I known this wouldn't last I'd be more careful with what I asked.
Now you have no limbs and I have no home.
We are the same - we are alone!
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4. |
IV
03:16
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If the son of god loves me, why am I so unhappy, why did I lose everything, why am I such a mess?
I can't blame this on my father or look for help from my mother, or stare into the clouds, or pretend that I'm not bothered.
Oh but I am, I am. It keeps me up at night. I've lost my appetite, I drink to fill my gut and forget.
I am not afraid. I am terrified. I need to get away. I need to feel alive.
And even in the morning's light I still want to die, or drink 'till I am dead inside. And it's so hard to find hope when you're all alone. All I need is a boat.
And if I could chop your body and fight Poseidon's sea I might find happiness and I might be set free.
And I'd still come back and visit every other spring. You should want me to be happy and I'd be happier traveling.
And even in the morning's light I still want to die, or drink 'till I am dead inside. And it's so hard to find hope when you're all alone. All I need is a boat.
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5. |
V
05:07
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I know how hard it was. I was so selfish and young. Now you're nothing but a stump, I'm an old bag of bones. I've been roaming for so long, all I want is to sit down. I have seen the tallest mountains, I have sailed the deepest oceans. I've been looking for my home, but it was here all along.
You are happy, you are kind. You were there for me all the time. Everything that did you for me, how could I treat you horribly. Sitting here so happily, we fit together perfectly. You are my family. I am because you're happy.
And I'm not so sure if you can forgive me, but I've changed. I've matured and aged. And I want to make you happy.
I've turned you into a pathetic mound, a damn lump someone will trip on.
But if you allow me a place to sit I will fend off the termites in our last days. I've never been too aware of my mortality, but I accept it.
I want to end where I began, with you.
You are my greatest friend.
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6. |
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With the rise of the largest star accounted for we find ourselves, our history, the books our grandmothers wrote, all trapped beneath this burden concerning pots and pans. I’m trapped beneath this burden concerning my two hands. Maybe they’re miners maybe they’re helpless; extremities covered in sand. What if i’m dying? Tell me i’m dying as long as it’s not by my hands.
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7. |
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Seems as if assemblies start and end. But with a leader like that, gun in hand, no one can stir. How can one constitute such fiction? It’s fiction, his fiction. I’m losing faith in this place. Opposition raises its hands.
What on earth is your god damn deal? Agreeable, how is she agreeable (being one not to complain)? Without a voice without a voice she is now weary and hoarse.
I’m so tired of all the inkblots, they’re the same, of all acquaintances ashamed__
is I for feeling more than indifference.
I am but a fool, it’s all or nothing and I am nothing. Take a look at me now I scream it’s done.
Well, it’s done.
Leave it alone, say it goodbye, leave it alone, watch it die.
Your revolution is killing me.
Monday starts and then monday starts.
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8. |
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Not that lost, the exits bleed into one. So do the sounds long gone. Hello ward hill. Why did we climb not run? Exits bled into one. Hello master, enlightened by all that is, parted by all the trees. Hello output, thick as the dried cement. What is the land ahead?
Hello downfall.
Good food good atmosphere and no responsibility but the ability to respond to what was gone. What’s left was never here.
Hello moon, veering off right of you. To lengthen our strides would help. Hello tide, been waiting for you turn (along with the gas we’ve burned). Hello input; dogs laughing in a rue, but, still searching for the treat. Hello bastards, I’m finally free to go. The density’s sure to grow.
Hello exit. It’s likely to take its new form and take us home.
This is my blood.
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9. |
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If it ever adds up to isolation tap me on the back and I’ll find the train. Being alone takes it out of me while walking away takes me.
Embarrassment. Is that all I can find? In the nooks and crannies? In the burrows of my own mind? Will I prove myself? My masculinity? Oh god examine...please examine me.
The wasted photographs. Infestation means another man’s trash is not my treasure. Yes, ownership does have its perks but not mine. No, not mine. Don’t do this to me they’re not mine.
The yearned for autographs. Infatuation means another man’s trash is indeed my pleasure. Yes, ownership does have its perks but not mine. No, not mine. Don’t do this to me they’re not mine.
Would somebody else hold the rifle for once? Is this disease kicking in or are the headphones letting me know who it is that i am? Checkpoint’s blocked by the sea. Everyone seems so sad, or is it me? Or is it the small huntress with the kite because I don’t know what to think of all the consumers inside her small figurative heart. Would somebody else hold the rifle for once? is this disease kicking in or are the headphones letting me know who it is that i am? Checkpoint’s blocked by the sea. Everyone seems so sad, or is it me?
Where are all the pills you take? These pills you take to disguise your hollowed horse.
Breathe in the fumes you make to take back what’s yours.
I wish i were you.
If no one will read it put the pen down if no one will read it put down the pen. Take me away with you. Place me in your tale, give me the part.
I wish i were you.
Ambition always doubles the weight of the world.
I wish i were you.
And when its done and we’re all gone, into the night we will run. I am here boy. And in the night the depths will prove who was wrong and who was right. I am wrong boy and now wide awake.
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10. |
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It's bound to start tearing apart if what I am is what I'm not. It's bound to start, prepared I'm not. But you, you're him. El Capitan(o).
"El Capitano," that's how they address you in my dreams.
El Capitano, just please do this one thing for me.
I am not a horse.
[Yo baba mouse. Hello baba mouse.]
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Matt Aspinwall
with the infusion of friends’ idears, influence, and overall assistance, it wouldn’t be fair to keep putting it all under the porch of “matt aspinwall”. so “black lake” it is.
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